So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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