you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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