The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I enjoy the company of your penis
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
