she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize