I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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