STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
