I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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