I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
