The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
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