Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You made out with two different species that night
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
