just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
