weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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