i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
