how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
