She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize