my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
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Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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