A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
