As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
