We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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