no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
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