new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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