It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
