i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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