Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
