I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize