I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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