Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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