When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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