Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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