Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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