im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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