i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
