We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
