Did you just see the Batmobile???
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
