dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
