my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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