there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
