So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
