1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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