I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
