i think my mom watched the whole time
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
