I like my sex mixed with concussions.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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