playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
