This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Did you just see the Batmobile???
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
