I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
