she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
