using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
