I cockslap morals
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
