He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My ATM looks so different sober.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
