we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
