I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
