I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
