I feel like abortions should bother me more
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
