my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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