I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
