i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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